Bigfoot the Garden Yeti
02/07/09 19:21 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
From the infamous SkyMall catalog on our flight from
San Francisco to DC. Now you too can have your every
own garden yeti, over 2 feet of mysterious (until now!)
primate, guaranteed to spark lively conversation and
terrify neighborhood children. Apparently garden gnomes
are no longer a viable kitsch option, thanks to
travelocity's annoying ad campaign, which they stole by
the way. (In the interest of full disclosure I must
confess to owning an 'alien yard gnome' in our backyard
in DC, appropriately named 'Roswell'). Note that he's
posed like the famous film still of Bigfoot - and yes
I've watched enough bad TV - think 'Monsterquest on the
History Channel - to recognize it instantly.
Several noteworthy things about the garden yeti - the catalog calls him 'Bigfoot the Garden Yeti': an incredibly uninspired and confusing nickname, like 'Puma the Tiger'; also everyone knows that yeti are found in the Himalayas, not in suburban US gardens where most bigfoot sightings occur... Why not call him 'Yeti the Garden Bigfoot'? That way he could have an exotic name to bandy about when meeting other garden Bigfeet(?) "yeah my parents went to Nepal and named me after my third cousin - thought it'd be cool. My brother Sasquatch was born in Vancouver...".
Several noteworthy things about the garden yeti - the catalog calls him 'Bigfoot the Garden Yeti': an incredibly uninspired and confusing nickname, like 'Puma the Tiger'; also everyone knows that yeti are found in the Himalayas, not in suburban US gardens where most bigfoot sightings occur... Why not call him 'Yeti the Garden Bigfoot'? That way he could have an exotic name to bandy about when meeting other garden Bigfeet(?) "yeah my parents went to Nepal and named me after my third cousin - thought it'd be cool. My brother Sasquatch was born in Vancouver...".
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Pucking Coffee
01/07/09 18:52 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
This is from the eminently forgettable (and
preposterously overpriced) Portola hotel in Monterey
CA; the only hotel I've ever stayed at that charged a
US DOLLAR A MINUTE for internet access - yep 60 bucks
an hour. No doubt cheaper - and more reiiable - in
Birkina Faso.
The package below is the in-room coffee selection for the circa 1985 coffeemaker. It seems the intrepid entrepeneur Wolfgang Puck is at it again with his hand-crafted 'signature coffee' blends. Only the highest quality beans are selected in their millions by the Maestro himself - to be freeze dried and bagged by the ton for tourist trap hotels like the lovely Portola.
Hard working man our Wolfgang, first with Spago(?) or whatever his restaurant is called, then the gourmet microwave pizzas (each one meticulously hand-crafted by the Maestro himself- then shipped to Costcos and Walmarts across the country). Anyway what caught my eye was Wolfgang's expression on the packaging - I assume he's supposed to look dutifully impressed with his creation, but he seems more like "Vas is dis? You call zis f*cking coffee?!" Having tried it myself I have to say I'm more in the latter camp.
The package below is the in-room coffee selection for the circa 1985 coffeemaker. It seems the intrepid entrepeneur Wolfgang Puck is at it again with his hand-crafted 'signature coffee' blends. Only the highest quality beans are selected in their millions by the Maestro himself - to be freeze dried and bagged by the ton for tourist trap hotels like the lovely Portola.
Hard working man our Wolfgang, first with Spago(?) or whatever his restaurant is called, then the gourmet microwave pizzas (each one meticulously hand-crafted by the Maestro himself- then shipped to Costcos and Walmarts across the country). Anyway what caught my eye was Wolfgang's expression on the packaging - I assume he's supposed to look dutifully impressed with his creation, but he seems more like "Vas is dis? You call zis f*cking coffee?!" Having tried it myself I have to say I'm more in the latter camp.