Bigfoot the Garden Yeti
02/07/09 07:21 Filed in: Disturbing
Mascots
From the infamous SkyMall catalog on our flight from
San Francisco to DC. Now you too can have your every
own garden yeti, over 2 feet of mysterious (until
now!) primate, guaranteed to spark lively
conversation and terrify neighborhood children.
Apparently garden gnomes are no longer a viable
kitsch option, thanks to travelocity's annoying ad
campaign, which they stole by the way. (In the
interest of full disclosure I must confess to owning
an 'alien yard gnome' in our backyard in DC,
appropriately named 'Roswell'). Note that he's posed
like the famous film still of Bigfoot - and yes I've
watched enough bad TV - think 'Monsterquest on the
History Channel - to recognize it instantly.
Several noteworthy things about the garden yeti - the catalog calls him 'Bigfoot the Garden Yeti': an incredibly uninspired and confusing nickname, like 'Puma the Tiger'; also everyone knows that yeti are found in the Himalayas, not in suburban US gardens where most bigfoot sightings occur... Why not call him 'Yeti the Garden Bigfoot'? That way he could have an exotic name to bandy about when meeting other garden Bigfeet(?) "yeah my parents went to Nepal and named me after my third cousin - thought it'd be cool. My brother Sasquatch was born in Vancouver...".
Several noteworthy things about the garden yeti - the catalog calls him 'Bigfoot the Garden Yeti': an incredibly uninspired and confusing nickname, like 'Puma the Tiger'; also everyone knows that yeti are found in the Himalayas, not in suburban US gardens where most bigfoot sightings occur... Why not call him 'Yeti the Garden Bigfoot'? That way he could have an exotic name to bandy about when meeting other garden Bigfeet(?) "yeah my parents went to Nepal and named me after my third cousin - thought it'd be cool. My brother Sasquatch was born in Vancouver...".
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