This poster hangs outside the largest pet store in Happy Valley. It exhorts us to get 'back to basics', and what could be more basic than your very own 200 lb. beowulf mastiff. If your definition of 'basic' is 'pony-sized killing machine with a cinderblock sized head', then this is the breed for you.

Contrary to popular belief in the US, Hong Kongers do not eat dogs, but In fact coddle and pamper them on a level unparalleled anywhere else (save perhaps rodeo drive or 5th avenue). Upscale dog spas and boutiques flourish here, as do dog only bakeries and salons. While yippie little pedigree dogs are still the rule, one still sees larger expensive breeds, especially in Happy Valley. There are malamutes and and pristine huskies, as well as the occasional afghan. Why anyone would subject a malamute - which is for all intents and purposes an arctic wolf - to a subtropical climate is beyond me, but then again people have no problem breeding shihtzus into noseless mutants. And of course dogs love nothing more than to be dressed in unbearably cute outfits, like the posh wedding couple below. Quite the fetching bride, to say nothing of the dapper bridegroom. I can't help but wonder what 'P.A.W.S.' stands for though. Pathetic Animal Worship Syndrome?

Perhaps one day you too will be wealthy enough to employ your very own puzzle steward, specifically tasked with no other responsibilities, so that he can concentrate his considerable talents on the creation and maintenance of puzzles and puzzle making implements. Note that this steward carries all the necessary accoutrements for high-end puzzling, including a fresh bottle of rubber cement and a selection of medical grade calipers. Wouldn't want his gentleman to sully his pristine hands with puzzle dust (or god forbid traces of befouling glue). It seems this bank has run out of ways to portray ostentation; after you have the cars, furs, jewelry etc. you need to get creative. Actually I've heard the true sign of wealth in Hong Kong is a lawn mower, as few can afford property with an actual lawn.

I came across this at one of the local pharmacies. Not sure what the Statue of Liberty and eyeliner have in common, but it does make for an damn inspirational tattoo, even if it is temporary. I think I'll get the male equivalent between my shoulder blades, perhaps a Washington Monument with 'Lectric Shave 2009' emblazoned below. I wonder if she had her eyeliner tattooed as well; that would at least save her the 45 minutes it must take to apply a 1/2 inch thick line of mascara...

When you've got a nasty refrigerator odor on the metaphorical scale of a passenger jet, it's time to reach for Jumbo 747 Smell Killer. Note that it doesn't just mask the odor, it kills it, maybe by blowing out the door and catastrophically depressurizing the freezer. No oxygen masks for this unwanted passenger! I also like the rather mystifying inclusion of a rainbow in the packaging.

Of course if you have a smell the size of a C-130 or the new Airbus, well god help you son.

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Apparently the marketing department at this HK bank didn't get that memo about a global real estate meltdown. One can imagine a frisky up-and-comer at the brainstorming session;"Hey boss, let's go with a couple cavorting on the beach of their newly purchased island! That's sure to bring in prospective homeowners!" Perhaps the couple looks so happy because they're fleeing their mortgage payments, or better yet they sold just moments before the market collapsed. The marketing guys could give the ad an apropos update, maybe change the mountain behind them to an erupting volcano...