http://hongkongblong.com/index.htmlhong kong blongendanmcardle@mac.comCopyright 2010 Daniel McArdle2010-08-29T07:24:39+08:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 08:29:25 +0800danmcardle@mac.comCosmo Living Chic Condo2010-08-29T07:24:39+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/9d9676462837f3b574b8fb7589297faf-247.html#unique-entry-id-247http://hongkongblong.com/files/9d9676462837f3b574b8fb7589297faf-247.html#unique-entry-id-247
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-08-25T07:50:14+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/24d86c437be9ea0df0ac8f9f6351cdfb-246.html#unique-entry-id-246http://hongkongblong.com/files/24d86c437be9ea0df0ac8f9f6351cdfb-246.html#unique-entry-id-246goats tap dance, after plying them with wine and... well whatever goats prefer to feast on. Exquisite kitchen scraps?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-08-17T05:44:02+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/32fcfdfabf11446fa06ea35df3ea6357-245.html#unique-entry-id-245http://hongkongblong.com/files/32fcfdfabf11446fa06ea35df3ea6357-245.html#unique-entry-id-245what the hell is that supposed to mean? sense. The three eyes on Pinocchio are a bit disconcerting–and why use Pinocchio in the first place? Also the leaf growing from his nose doesn’t help clear up matters. Does that mean he’s lying, but in an environmentally responsible way?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-08-12T21:15:41+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/70acf9f5c4c28c9da4a0e654290771d5-244.html#unique-entry-id-244http://hongkongblong.com/files/70acf9f5c4c28c9da4a0e654290771d5-244.html#unique-entry-id-244I just got hit by a 10,000 lb hammer and its a bit disorientating’ eyes, and the puddle of fear induced urine (juice?).

I just wonder though–does the mango know the hammer’s coming, or do they surprise it and get even more fear pheromones in the bargain?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-08-09T22:45:57+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/e210fa02ea959dc20370eb79486f245f-243.html#unique-entry-id-243http://hongkongblong.com/files/e210fa02ea959dc20370eb79486f245f-243.html#unique-entry-id-243ever sent screws via the post office? My uncle needs some #24 philips head galvanized pronto - I better get down to the post office right away!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & Bleverages2010-08-05T18:48:02+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/09780cca4371939f557781c73e3aff96-242.html#unique-entry-id-242http://hongkongblong.com/files/09780cca4371939f557781c73e3aff96-242.html#unique-entry-id-242
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-08-03T06:50:40+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/788a71b3d8bba72eb4d321b5f1946b5f-241.html#unique-entry-id-241http://hongkongblong.com/files/788a71b3d8bba72eb4d321b5f1946b5f-241.html#unique-entry-id-241
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-07-23T02:27:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/3283cab0cb3009d20250627e7d745565-240.html#unique-entry-id-240http://hongkongblong.com/files/3283cab0cb3009d20250627e7d745565-240.html#unique-entry-id-240lightning produces cool candy and a good smell (carbonized grape jelly?) . I totally get it now...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashionique2010-07-21T06:28:18+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/9e93ef8aa5b1a6ba658257ada0d86f45-239.html#unique-entry-id-239http://hongkongblong.com/files/9e93ef8aa5b1a6ba658257ada0d86f45-239.html#unique-entry-id-239another bling encrusted belt fused onto the fretboard. A bit awkward to carry around all day, and obviously you can't play it, but as the saying goes, beauty knows no pain. Beauty also knows virtually nothing about actually playing guitar; one can imagine the shredded fingertips after a session with this monstrosity. Of course you'd have to string it first....

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-07-19T07:55:14+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/038e62738a85980cad578e98f86eb569-238.html#unique-entry-id-238http://hongkongblong.com/files/038e62738a85980cad578e98f86eb569-238.html#unique-entry-id-238Chinese classes. So if you want learn to speak Mandarin in an engaging, post-partisan (i.e. moderate republican) style, then this is the place for you. They also have side courses in triangulation and hippy bashing. Alas no 'Bush' language Centeries in the vicinity, but that might just be clever stategery on their part...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFashionique2010-07-13T08:06:39+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/44732a164b64be08856b081db95a54f6-237.html#unique-entry-id-237http://hongkongblong.com/files/44732a164b64be08856b081db95a54f6-237.html#unique-entry-id-237mate as I'm American). Good news for women afflicted with a smile that makes them look like they have mild case of diarrhea, or have just committed a minor faux paus (see below). Because now there's... Beauty Smile Trainer, an exciting new technology from Japan, the world leader in flesh toning contraptions, and products that look like sex toys, but with no obvious application. Two tapered ends?

But I digress. Seems all the weak smile sufferer has to do is place this bar in their mouth(?) and diligently work their underdeveloped smile muscles, and viola'. I assume that you need to be careful not to overdo it, lest you end up looking like Jack Nicholson as the Joker, or even worse, Julia Roberts...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-07-10T08:11:01+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d7db959d8f69b30eeb3e15f7725284b1-235.html#unique-entry-id-235http://hongkongblong.com/files/d7db959d8f69b30eeb3e15f7725284b1-235.html#unique-entry-id-235 I do, therefore I am...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueHong Kong Wrong2010-07-07T17:01:28+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c7d3da2884df4117210298ce7960d1b3-234.html#unique-entry-id-234http://hongkongblong.com/files/c7d3da2884df4117210298ce7960d1b3-234.html#unique-entry-id-234appears to be a defiant shot across the bow of decrepitude–look she's 45 and chewing bubble gum!–its actually a shot at 45 year old women, who will (gasp) look their age unless they utilize the latest miracle slimming and skin-rejuvenation treatments...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-07-04T08:40:30+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/6c17f071d246452b5783225109a1a144-233.html#unique-entry-id-233http://hongkongblong.com/files/6c17f071d246452b5783225109a1a144-233.html#unique-entry-id-233Soul Room wasn't odd enough for inclusion here, but 'for your conscious living' puts it over the top, especially when combined with a double ellipse (adds a touch of mystery......). But where does one find cutting edge fashions for unconscious living?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-07-03T08:00:59+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ab1a1fb204aa772034546c38dbc1e109-232.html#unique-entry-id-232http://hongkongblong.com/files/ab1a1fb204aa772034546c38dbc1e109-232.html#unique-entry-id-232




I couldn't find any additional explanations for the procedure, except that the 'shock wave type is electromagnetic'. But as usual the Cantonese website provided some other priceless translations. Seems Perfect Shape will be offering product stations at various local malls, where spokesmodels can be seen "...playing hula hoop and jump rope...

There'll also be "more on Breast Ho Ching magic solution." I wonder if they'll be applying that down at the mall? I'm sure they'd have a few male volunteers...

They use a patented 'Stovepipe approach' to slimness, with a 'banana diet can be used Lai!' 'The focus of this banana diet is breakfast any bananas from time restrictions, is that simple! ... a lot of Women with fat because of gastrointestinal or bad, Just think, food... (Wow. Just think, food... so zen).

And finally they 'will provide 6 large overeating obesity for overeating caused by large accumulation of fat induced obesity(?). And for the more stubborn cases, the promise that 'Miss Yip's [will lean into the] power cases...'
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-06-24T16:27:31+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b907c73053ee7a836e96a95f42dee38-231.html#unique-entry-id-231http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b907c73053ee7a836e96a95f42dee38-231.html#unique-entry-id-231
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-06-20T17:28:57+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc1909c069a317a23d54864d5d3f448b-230.html#unique-entry-id-230http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc1909c069a317a23d54864d5d3f448b-230.html#unique-entry-id-230um...). My sister sent me this sign from Manhattan - not only do they have the lowest prices, they are the lowest, the physical embodiment of the very concept of 'lowest-price-ness...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-06-16T15:14:11+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/3ed201a48866dcf033d3f4aa079241d4-229.html#unique-entry-id-229http://hongkongblong.com/files/3ed201a48866dcf033d3f4aa079241d4-229.html#unique-entry-id-229
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashionique2010-06-18T08:42:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/6f80146ab1df3df5a6ef5efeedf57302-228.html#unique-entry-id-228http://hongkongblong.com/files/6f80146ab1df3df5a6ef5efeedf57302-228.html#unique-entry-id-228


They even suggest several acts of rank stupidity, such as this gem:



One can only hope that their clientele don't really try stepping into oncoming cars with a traffic cone over their heads, but who knows? Perhaps getting struck by an SUV (or even better a Mini Cooper) in the name of fashion by is smartest/stupidest way to insure immortality, to truly be 'tragically hip'...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-06-12T17:27:39+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b7301ecb394346711a308ff5c834a14c-227.html#unique-entry-id-227http://hongkongblong.com/files/b7301ecb394346711a308ff5c834a14c-227.html#unique-entry-id-227go! go! go! get some GI rations upstairs pronto. Just fall in with the cutlery-wielding Marines as they charge hellbent over pumpkin-laced minefields (or provide suppression fire from behind giant mutant cabbages). And all with air cover provided by fearsome pickled corn cobs(?). I honestly don't know which WWII movie this is trying to reference, but it apparently won all kinds of awards at Cannes - just look at all those wreathes!

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-06-11T06:26:28+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d8c4e8b532a53827fb7bd6703134ed35-226.html#unique-entry-id-226http://hongkongblong.com/files/d8c4e8b532a53827fb7bd6703134ed35-226.html#unique-entry-id-226
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFashionique2010-06-08T07:33:05+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2ce62b08be5f974dabc704e1a9233d89-225.html#unique-entry-id-225http://hongkongblong.com/files/2ce62b08be5f974dabc704e1a9233d89-225.html#unique-entry-id-225overnight.



No really - says so right there on the internet, and they have the scientific terms to prove it. From some other online ad copy: "Saggy Breasts?? If you are one of the millions of women who suffer from the embarassment of small breasts, then Night Bomber can change your life. Impact occurs when you are sleeping; From a well-known study, It is making the extra fat from the back and arms to move to the bust... when the bust rise hormone is discharged and it awakens." Note the handy arrows below which illustrate how and where the fat is moving. Seems to have worked wonders in this case...



More hard medical backup follows:" ...not can be satisfied with just that, you observe to also the “lact gene receptor”... 3 completion long hormones of L-[orunichin], L-[ariginin] and the gabardine (gabardine?) stimulating from inside the bust, it assures volume rise. While sleeping, making the lact gene receptor expand in the mammary gland, it is the mechanism which becomes enormous..."

Well there you have it. A watertight scientific proof of how it works. My personal favorite ingredient is 'gabardine'. Apparently in addition to providing dapper suit fabric, it stimulates bust interiors as well. Who knew? Well Night Bomber G scientists, thats who...
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-06-04T06:33:24+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c4c3a6e1aa431fab1e54ab07119dbea8-224.html#unique-entry-id-224http://hongkongblong.com/files/c4c3a6e1aa431fab1e54ab07119dbea8-224.html#unique-entry-id-224


Also due credit for not trying to make math sexy, which is never going to work, though many have tried. As proof I offer but a few of the 'sexy math' gifts I came across online. You've got your seventies 'Pi-MP' shirt, you're 'mathematicians do it rigorously', and finally 'for a good prime call (all prime numbers of course - clever)'. Now that's quality. Who says mathematicians don't have a sense of humor? All non-mathematicians do...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-06-04T06:31:26+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/669dc49b8ab7c7035ac33961a1bbb370-223.html#unique-entry-id-223http://hongkongblong.com/files/669dc49b8ab7c7035ac33961a1bbb370-223.html#unique-entry-id-223Naf naf league is a French(?) designer label, though the only products I could find online were on ebay and charity gift sites. Oh well. Definitely a catchy name, though, and the phrase 'takeachance with naf naf league' just has a nice cadence to it. Or maybe its a nod to the infamous ABBA song, and its diabolical take a chance, take a chance, take a chance chance chance background chant - which of course will now be stuck in my head all day...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-05-30T17:10:48+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/e4c7a6e7546987ca017cc3b007ef27e6-222.html#unique-entry-id-222http://hongkongblong.com/files/e4c7a6e7546987ca017cc3b007ef27e6-222.html#unique-entry-id-222is mane and tail shampoo. For horses.



From the company website:



One of the odder splash pages you'll come across. Honestly how many companies give personal and animal care options? Also I love the little horse name in the lower right hand corner: Anton 343; interesting name for a horse. Does he know Andre 3000? Sadly the model didn't get her name up too. Anyway more from the website FAQ: Mane ‘n Tail products were originally developed for horses. Horse owners reported seeing significant improvement in the health and appearance of their horses’ manes and tails. Similar results were seen when horse owners and groomers used the products on themselves (wouldn't you?). This was the beginning of the Mane ‘n Tail legend. They also have a nail care solution called Hoofmaker, So not only can you get lustrous shine with Mane n' Tail, but you can also clean up those split nails after a hard day of riding and/or wagon pulling...
]]>danmcardle@mac.comCookie Moon Doggie Spa2010-05-28T07:22:32+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/24ee2cce405b048e23b834d89a29325b-221.html#unique-entry-id-221http://hongkongblong.com/files/24ee2cce405b048e23b834d89a29325b-221.html#unique-entry-id-221Gaite means 'gaiety' in French. While one imagines they don't actually sell gay poodles, passion on poodle is a painfully poor choice of copy. Suffice it to say they were a tad naive when they wrote it up? Anyway they sell very, very expensive poodles (and poodle bling), which are popular in HK though not as much as other precious yippy breeds.



They also have another sign close by (unfortunately is obscured in this shot). It says buy the best you only cry once. How true, especially in the take-no-prisoners world of poodle gaiety. Choose poorly and you may well be stuck with merely content (heureux), or mildly amused (légèrement amusé)...


]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-05-24T19:10:51+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/3f62b9f3fa6857118c744d8c20b26857-220.html#unique-entry-id-220http://hongkongblong.com/files/3f62b9f3fa6857118c744d8c20b26857-220.html#unique-entry-id-220toasted after all...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceCosmo Living Chic Condo2010-05-23T16:56:20+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b1048b924c70a55d57d90bd3d079c00f-219.html#unique-entry-id-219http://hongkongblong.com/files/b1048b924c70a55d57d90bd3d079c00f-219.html#unique-entry-id-219French pressure Tut new radio technology (!) without needles, recognized and awarded by the U.S. FDA, American scientists patent awards, SKINJET to speed in 0.01 seconds, between the moment the essence of liquid mist into the skin in depth from 3.2 to 9.1 mm underlying the skin, skin can be completely absorbed.'

Well if it has American scientists working on it, it must be safe! I guess the depth of the 'essence of liquid mist' is key here - deadly over 9.2mm, but Dr. Renew is a trusted professional and knows his way around a French pressure Tut radio. Still why not go one better? How about a 'Belgian Ramses hyperwind tunnel' generating Mach 5 airspeeds, forcing the subcutaneous fat cells into a slimmer, more aerodynamic shape? Or not...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-05-19T07:33:37+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d3349afb398f075952de83457428d6b1-218.html#unique-entry-id-218http://hongkongblong.com/files/d3349afb398f075952de83457428d6b1-218.html#unique-entry-id-218
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-05-18T06:00:19+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1b09b5542dcd520fb4fcae744656b2f8-217.html#unique-entry-id-217http://hongkongblong.com/files/1b09b5542dcd520fb4fcae744656b2f8-217.html#unique-entry-id-217
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-05-14T15:54:11+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc8375fbe4473820791f3efeb0469d55-216.html#unique-entry-id-216http://hongkongblong.com/files/cc8375fbe4473820791f3efeb0469d55-216.html#unique-entry-id-216
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-05-12T07:41:18+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/680c606ee1af9bd80c021bfd694bb147-215.html#unique-entry-id-215http://hongkongblong.com/files/680c606ee1af9bd80c021bfd694bb147-215.html#unique-entry-id-215what? Quality? Good for backpacking? Bulletproof? Still they are technically correct: this pack is NOT a mountain range...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-05-08T09:57:23+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/4aa5894ec7b3529b428c464c1261124a-214.html#unique-entry-id-214http://hongkongblong.com/files/4aa5894ec7b3529b428c464c1261124a-214.html#unique-entry-id-214
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashionique2010-05-05T07:54:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2400e24215a6863e684d9c9a95971e18-213.html#unique-entry-id-213http://hongkongblong.com/files/2400e24215a6863e684d9c9a95971e18-213.html#unique-entry-id-213don't smile - not even a self-satisfied smirk. As the saying goes, 'beauty knows no pain', but beauty never had to clean up freeze-dried cheek fragments...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-05-03T17:38:03+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d77ae2ca188e7b8909da9bc16275af3b-212.html#unique-entry-id-212http://hongkongblong.com/files/d77ae2ca188e7b8909da9bc16275af3b-212.html#unique-entry-id-212
]]>danmcardle@mac.comCosmo Living Chic Condo2010-05-02T08:12:40+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/e187f0dcc4621bb5793086c7b0094a9b-211.html#unique-entry-id-211http://hongkongblong.com/files/e187f0dcc4621bb5793086c7b0094a9b-211.html#unique-entry-id-211WarrenWoods. They easily make up for the uninspired name with the tagline though - 'under the glitz, a veil of luxury'. Hard to improve on that. But under the flash, beneath the thin veneer of luxury, what lies below? A screen of extravagance? A sheen of overindulgence? Or a portal into the fabled dimension of... Hyperluxury?

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFashionique2010-04-26T15:18:44+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/1fd89c3dcf302c27f8958b2fcdc27cee-210.html#unique-entry-id-210http://hongkongblong.com/files/1fd89c3dcf302c27f8958b2fcdc27cee-210.html#unique-entry-id-210
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-04-23T07:54:22+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/720049d3bc9e812f8dfed712480c8fd8-209.html#unique-entry-id-209http://hongkongblong.com/files/720049d3bc9e812f8dfed712480c8fd8-209.html#unique-entry-id-209
]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-04-20T06:28:12+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/8724c157f17c3dc2a5dd0c77486c2a03-208.html#unique-entry-id-208http://hongkongblong.com/files/8724c157f17c3dc2a5dd0c77486c2a03-208.html#unique-entry-id-208
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-04-17T08:24:06+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2a9ed7b84235f380b9e0c0ec3cd1b883-207.html#unique-entry-id-207http://hongkongblong.com/files/2a9ed7b84235f380b9e0c0ec3cd1b883-207.html#unique-entry-id-207479 essentials. And no such list is complete without a 'White BIble'. I assume this is a guide to wearing white, but perhaps its a guide to acting white, complete with mayonnaise recipes, outdated street slang, ideal wrangler jeans/college sweatshirt combinations, and the location of every TGIFriday's in the contiguous 48 states...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-04-13T18:26:46+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ea27da49e77dd70424e3b4037b821af2-206.html#unique-entry-id-206http://hongkongblong.com/files/ea27da49e77dd70424e3b4037b821af2-206.html#unique-entry-id-206you perfect, but your spouse/boyfriend as well, whether he wants it or not. While you're getting the Lancome' cyber-whitening, Bobbi Brown mascara match (you are such an Autumn!) and gold leaf/seaweed slim wrap, he's getting a brutal facial scrub with fist-sized Icelandic pumice, then a hearty backwaxing with authentic Brazilian beeswax, followed by forced shin implants - sorry dear, but princes are supposed to be tall. And of course there's the electroshock Pavlovian therapy to ween him of ESPN and Playstation; all the more time for listening - really listening - to your detailed constructive criticisms...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-04-11T11:03:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/333d9b3f11d92e828e3bccbb3fe404bb-205.html#unique-entry-id-205http://hongkongblong.com/files/333d9b3f11d92e828e3bccbb3fe404bb-205.html#unique-entry-id-205


I've yet to find a better street shot, but I did manage to find this web banner ad. Seems Jen here depends on it to loose 20 lbs. in one month. Wow - that is miraculous. One hopes that she means 20 pounds of fat, and not, say, internal organs or brain tissue. Hate to have a bunch of 'invasion of the bodysnatcher' types shuffling about HK, pointing at chubby ladies who obviously haven't succumbed and unleashing that unearthly scream...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashionique2010-04-09T12:23:36+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/37fa9ed1a8c3c7a7f6db62c827a87b1a-204.html#unique-entry-id-204http://hongkongblong.com/files/37fa9ed1a8c3c7a7f6db62c827a87b1a-204.html#unique-entry-id-204original into disturbing, perhaps even budding serial killer. Makes me wonder if that's just a wig in front of him, or something far more 'original'...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2010-04-05T07:20:21+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/e660d1e4d004b190dc7a779eb3c77876-203.html#unique-entry-id-203http://hongkongblong.com/files/e660d1e4d004b190dc7a779eb3c77876-203.html#unique-entry-id-203anywhere in China; and while 'ecological grassland' sounds vaguely positive, it doesn't actually mean anything. Also considering China's infamous plastic additive (melamine) scandal, when the Chinese throw words like ecological around, one should be very wary. Still I have to give credit to the poor sods who had to photoshop the 'dairy cow' clouds (having done this once myself with the old AOL logo, i can attest that its a real pain in the ass to make clouds look both 'realistic' and recognizable as something else). But perhaps the bovine guardian spirits really are watching over this precious patch of idyllic green, and the photographer just got lucky...


]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-04-03T11:02:09+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c64c4957a4d53f7873a6a934f5819b8d-202.html#unique-entry-id-202http://hongkongblong.com/files/c64c4957a4d53f7873a6a934f5819b8d-202.html#unique-entry-id-202chinese airline standards. Still they do get offsetting credit for choice of condiments - hard to top coconut tree god lantern hot pepper sauce (which my wife assures me is the correct translation from the mandarin above). In the interest of science i tried it - decent enough as hot sauces go, but i wonder if the coconut tree god would be proud of his worshippers...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-04-02T15:20:19+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/725d6418bbe09582b27474f5d77a99dc-200.html#unique-entry-id-200http://hongkongblong.com/files/725d6418bbe09582b27474f5d77a99dc-200.html#unique-entry-id-200
]]>danmcardle@mac.comCosmo Living Chic Condo2010-03-25T06:25:27+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/f1132a08d7adf42427c9a5dbf7857b71-199.html#unique-entry-id-199http://hongkongblong.com/files/f1132a08d7adf42427c9a5dbf7857b71-199.html#unique-entry-id-199
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-03-21T15:24:25+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/32c8747b0886d4569f78a33619db8731-198.html#unique-entry-id-198http://hongkongblong.com/files/32c8747b0886d4569f78a33619db8731-198.html#unique-entry-id-198of fat is unsettling. Really unsettling. Still it apparently qualifies for the 'No. 1' anthropomorphic thumb, making it the top-selling fat bomb on the market...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-03-17T06:23:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/a409a2c625d8d14fa0772c13041896fb-197.html#unique-entry-id-197http://hongkongblong.com/files/a409a2c625d8d14fa0772c13041896fb-197.html#unique-entry-id-197any surface unassisted for chrissake. Imagine going out to the nearest karst and having Spidey scoot up a sheer wall with ease, then drop four stories, land in a fighting crouch, dust off his hands, then turn to you smiling and say 'OK, now you try it'...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2010-03-11T18:40:44+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c80113962b8c197db09f26d03a283b5a-196.html#unique-entry-id-196http://hongkongblong.com/files/c80113962b8c197db09f26d03a283b5a-196.html#unique-entry-id-196


I later looked this extraganza up on the internets, and found a trove of wow-inducing (if somewhat disturbing) pickin's. First off there's the tagline:

7 Magic Masters Made You Feel The WOW Once In Your LIFE (I guess having sex, falling in love, etc don't actually produce WOW for most people; kind of sad actually...)

And the 7 Masters each have their own uniquely worded story as well. A few selections from the program guide:

Escape from Reality; He’s cool. She’s even cooler. The two meet in the magic arena. Only one can be the winner. So guess what’s next. (Death by... cooling?)

Story of High Heel; A magician with a heart full of love. A pair of high heels. A romantic story is about to begin. (I really hope this isn't a shoe fetish thing...)

"He" is in a Bar; This ‘guy’ in the Magic Bar – what will he serve up next? (I really don't know what to do with this one. Is 'he' a she? Does that magically influence his/her bartending somehow?)

And the best of the bunch - Moments with Mr. Magic; Mr. Magic would WOW you with the Wondrous World of Wonders. (A whole new take on www...)

The site also provided some choice bio information on our WOW-ists. I had no idea Magic had so many championships, certificates, and awards. Here are just a few:

...awarded twice in the World Magic Championship, aka FISM, and has a Master’s Degree in the F.F.F.F. Original Close-up Magic Convention USA...

...the first Japanese to win the Magic Manipulation World Championship in World Magic Championship, aka FISM, and the Golden Lion Award in Las Vegas...

and finally Mr. Magic's CV: He is the only complete conjurer in Hong Kong... the only magician in Asia held AIMC Silver Star membership of the British Magic Circle and the only Hong Kong magician featured in Hollywood Magic Castle in the US... has a Bachelor Degree in the Fechter’s Finger Flicking Frolic Original Close-up Magic Convention...

Both the magic circle and the magic castle? But - but how? Ahh yes, magic. And yes thats 'Fechter’s Finger Flicking Frolic'. Think about that for a second. OK that's enough...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-03-10T06:59:52+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/891dbf71b8e0529c7494fe5a4db2f84d-195.html#unique-entry-id-195http://hongkongblong.com/files/891dbf71b8e0529c7494fe5a4db2f84d-195.html#unique-entry-id-195is quite cheap (maybe not such a bad name after all). They have the all usual cantopop available - note the 'Love Mi' poster (more on her later), as well as the latest hong kong martial arts blockbuster 'bodyguards and assassins' (make up your minds gentlemen, you can't be both). Ironically that DVD is outrageously overpriced....

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-03-07T09:00:05+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/f48b5a51e2b1ad60914b9faae3d88d09-194.html#unique-entry-id-194http://hongkongblong.com/files/f48b5a51e2b1ad60914b9faae3d88d09-194.html#unique-entry-id-194do have Guinness however, which easily counterbalances these minor points. Actually having Guinness counterbalances the just about everything...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comDisturbing Mascots2010-03-05T06:45:10+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/5edaa4fe363193c6c64b1a884a44462c-190.html#unique-entry-id-190http://hongkongblong.com/files/5edaa4fe363193c6c64b1a884a44462c-190.html#unique-entry-id-190


Anyway I stumbled upon this rather disturbing pair while looking for shoes for my daughters - two 'life sized' wedding dolls, which (I'm guessing) are intended to look like old photographs. Unfortunately they look far more like zombies or ghosts, emanating crushing despair and colorless melancholy; the effect is even further magnified by the groom's sad hand wave and bride's faded bouquet. Not exactly the vibe you want establish for your marriage - trapped in an eternity of bottomless despair, mournfully gazing out of your glass prison at all those happy technicolor lives...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-02-26T09:12:13+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/962ee6d1bed950fb265cc4c35f8efd4d-189.html#unique-entry-id-189http://hongkongblong.com/files/962ee6d1bed950fb265cc4c35f8efd4d-189.html#unique-entry-id-189Transformingers or Optimum Primus Trucker, they've decided to go with the baffling moniker 'Variety King Kong'. If nothing else they're sure to throw the lawyers off the scent with this one...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-02-20T08:08:54+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/64a0216c56b5325b744e0a81ce59ffa9-188.html#unique-entry-id-188http://hongkongblong.com/files/64a0216c56b5325b744e0a81ce59ffa9-188.html#unique-entry-id-188Dancing Wolves and Septwolves. Not sure if september wolves is a reference to some uprising or revolution, or an obscure Chinese folktale. Nasty looking wolf though (doesn't look good on a polo shirt) in marked contrast to the suave film noir icon for 'dancing'. I'm guessing dancing wolves is more for sweetly dangerous ladykillers, ready to sweep a dame off her feet with some hard-nosed, soft-hearted detective work, while septwolves goes for the aggressive 'hunting in packs' type, usually seen at sports bars or a Hooters happy hour, howling for more chicken wings and twofer pitchers, making endless boorish passes at the long suffering waitresses. You don't want to be on the streets when a pack of septwolves stumbles upon some dancing wolves; the dancers swinging in to deliver some ironic oneliners and solid uppercuts, the septwolves gangtackling, spewing sports analogies and Schwarzenegger quotes...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-02-18T18:15:01+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7a7802392a139a51ecf8e4a2fd89264c-187.html#unique-entry-id-187http://hongkongblong.com/files/7a7802392a139a51ecf8e4a2fd89264c-187.html#unique-entry-id-187
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-02-17T08:47:41+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b60e41df74480396349e3b0cc3d7f815-186.html#unique-entry-id-186http://hongkongblong.com/files/b60e41df74480396349e3b0cc3d7f815-186.html#unique-entry-id-186is 'natural' and 'functional' though, so thats good(?). Perhaps its best that the ingredients are listed in Chinese...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comCantopop Level of HellSuper English Force2010-02-11T08:33:50+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b0b4de6268baeba3b0e4d631943dfb45-185.html#unique-entry-id-185http://hongkongblong.com/files/b0b4de6268baeba3b0e4d631943dfb45-185.html#unique-entry-id-185Lai first broke in to the Asian entertainment scene as the second runner-up in the 1986 New Talent Singing Awards. A record contract followed, as did fame when his debut album 1990s Meet the Rain went gold. Success followed with a series of chart-topping releases among them the award-winning single Not One Day I Dont Think of You... Lai was later crowned one of the 'Four Heavenly Kings of Canto-pop'...
Seems he's tired of ruling heaven (or a quarter of it at least), and is back on the comeback trail; he's decided to usher in 2010 with a 'dream wedding' tour. Unfortunately Leon's dreams appear to involve razors, disembodied female body parts (bleeding paint all over everything, even on his otherwise immaculate tux). Other highlights include flights of fighter jets and WWII bombers, ferris wheels, headless poledancers, and a truly disturbing female torso equiped with a camera simulating male genitalia. Yow. Don't know what to do with that one. Anyway I think I'll stick to tamer fare, like a Heironymous Bosch painting, or maybe one of those quaint Saw movies...









]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-02-08T07:25:44+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/13cdabb74cef92c0a1c65b2c801b0283-184.html#unique-entry-id-184http://hongkongblong.com/files/13cdabb74cef92c0a1c65b2c801b0283-184.html#unique-entry-id-184
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]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-02-02T07:47:45+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0603713924aac4a9277836b5683bf299-180.html#unique-entry-id-180http://hongkongblong.com/files/0603713924aac4a9277836b5683bf299-180.html#unique-entry-id-180


Also upon closer inspection, I noticed it looks suspiciously like the iBird a few boxes down. Hmmm. Now a cynic would say that the iFairy is just the iBird with 'fairy' coloring and pink packaging. A cynic mind you...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-01-30T09:21:30+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/4fc95e249edfd46d7e729509ffd6100b-179.html#unique-entry-id-179http://hongkongblong.com/files/4fc95e249edfd46d7e729509ffd6100b-179.html#unique-entry-id-179yesterday either...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-28T07:50:59+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ee9540c5260118366c58684e209eba56-178.html#unique-entry-id-178http://hongkongblong.com/files/ee9540c5260118366c58684e209eba56-178.html#unique-entry-id-178Mind Attack Spider Game. Not sure how you play exactly, but apparently if you hit the spider robot with your infrared laser, it 'screams and falls'. Not for the faint of heart. One can only imagine the chronic nightmares visited upon some unfortunate, overly imaginative seven year old: trapped in the middle of a sprawling spider's web; assaulted by endless waves of demonic cyborg arachnids (who scream in unearthly rage when you do manage to hit one of them); but they're just too many of them, and the nicad batteries in your tiny infrared laster pistol are running low... Perhaps 'Mind F*ck' would be better.

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-26T08:13:29+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/c73a2b735636f965e017258f7e0b26d3-177.html#unique-entry-id-177http://hongkongblong.com/files/c73a2b735636f965e017258f7e0b26d3-177.html#unique-entry-id-177
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceFashionique2010-01-22T08:10:00+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/196d3a76b2882de4feee4d503f01764f-176.html#unique-entry-id-176http://hongkongblong.com/files/196d3a76b2882de4feee4d503f01764f-176.html#unique-entry-id-176just socks, then yes they do match rather well...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-19T17:38:20+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/45990617d4b143bb4b07e971ba7d2c79-175.html#unique-entry-id-175http://hongkongblong.com/files/45990617d4b143bb4b07e971ba7d2c79-175.html#unique-entry-id-175Read every day - Even if you read books every day, you'll still never finish reading all the books in the world - but do make it a ritual. What's the point here exactly? Of course you'd never finish all the books in the world; this sounds more like don't bother, or what the hell, stave off the inevitable. I could understand a do not go gently into that good night inspirational tone, or even so read what you love vibe, but this makes it all sound rather overwhelming and pointless, like do brush your teeth, even though they'll all decay and rot out of your head regardless...



It reminds me of those death countdown clocks that used to pop up in airline catalogues, usually in 'the sharper image' or similar executive toy section. They would digitally display your statistical time of death as a 'reminder' to get things done. Or to not bother...]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashionique2010-01-17T08:25:02+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/ed621eeae2421270148865b4865ee352-174.html#unique-entry-id-174http://hongkongblong.com/files/ed621eeae2421270148865b4865ee352-174.html#unique-entry-id-174
]]>danmcardle@mac.comFood & BleveragesSuper English Force2010-01-14T08:39:26+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/d2b17226f1aff1e19594dee2d5b440cc-173.html#unique-entry-id-173http://hongkongblong.com/files/d2b17226f1aff1e19594dee2d5b440cc-173.html#unique-entry-id-173StarzBites! I haven't seen one of these abominations in person, but apparently its a crust with 18 individual 'bites' attached like spokes, each stuffed with a 2-tone cheese stick (note the z-shaped flourish on top - nice touch - very starzy). The actual pizza is topped with scallops, peaches, pineapple, 'embedded' sausage slices, 'intertwining' mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, and 'innovative' miracle island sauce (thousand island dressing being a common alternative to tomato sauce here in HK and in Japan). Hell who wouldn't want to partake of such a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional treat, if only to be a part of history? I'm feeling more starzy just by looking at it. As for the name, what else are you going to call it? Spokeybites? Sporez?


]]>danmcardle@mac.comFashioniqueSuper English Force2010-01-11T06:54:25+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/0de1732e01dde45948f19ddcf573d2f9-172.html#unique-entry-id-172http://hongkongblong.com/files/0de1732e01dde45948f19ddcf573d2f9-172.html#unique-entry-id-172really pack in the tourists. And this is the largest of them all, dwarfing the other 58 in the province. These hypermalls exist in at least 8 extra dimensions, allowing innocuous looking complexes like this to hold over 38,000 stores...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English ForceDisturbing Mascots2010-01-09T08:52:37+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/8fb935554e90311a4a94e2b7e9209638-171.html#unique-entry-id-171http://hongkongblong.com/files/8fb935554e90311a4a94e2b7e9209638-171.html#unique-entry-id-171is making that universal 'drinking' motion), getting some 'liquid courage' under his belt before the 'sitting on santa's lap' portion of the party starts. Seems even he gets nervous about dealing with droves of demanding, bratty kids...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-08T07:04:48+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/b867340c1a891960f9aa0995ff33d13a-170.html#unique-entry-id-170http://hongkongblong.com/files/b867340c1a891960f9aa0995ff33d13a-170.html#unique-entry-id-170the place is - the original location that spawned the now time-worn expression - well now you have your answer. Apparently its been in a strip mall in Malaysia all this time. Who knew? Its also an 'overtime cafe & lounge', so if you've just pulled an extra shift at work, just swing by Borneo for a quick bite or pick me up...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-06T06:52:28+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/02642cd0f5bbc395917c9c987765ddd0-169.html#unique-entry-id-169http://hongkongblong.com/files/02642cd0f5bbc395917c9c987765ddd0-169.html#unique-entry-id-169
]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-05T07:03:04+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b57bf1aa2308f5646160bf3072c3276-168.html#unique-entry-id-168http://hongkongblong.com/files/7b57bf1aa2308f5646160bf3072c3276-168.html#unique-entry-id-168had a revolving pavilion; must be for the Queen's private use. I googled it later, and its actually from Poland; and here I thought this was another case of a Chinese marketing guy ginning up more nonsensical (but impressive sounding) English combinations. My apologies to the many Chinese marketing guys who peruse this site. Love the crowned 'R' and full moon, though...

]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-03T17:13:17+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/2388eaecdd504e1519e72cb90dd07854-167.html#unique-entry-id-167http://hongkongblong.com/files/2388eaecdd504e1519e72cb90dd07854-167.html#unique-entry-id-167need a 24 hour hotline is beyond me; perhaps its better not to ask...



]]>danmcardle@mac.comSuper English Force2010-01-03T07:15:53+08:00http://hongkongblong.com/files/a32660d1c2ae00b9e7b3fca737ad881a-166.html#unique-entry-id-166http://hongkongblong.com/files/a32660d1c2ae00b9e7b3fca737ad881a-166.html#unique-entry-id-166
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